During a tragic Near Death Experience, A conservative Presbyterian Pastor named Yong Park was taken to Heaven and Hell. He was shown why some saints are richly rewarded in Heaven, while others have no reward; why some saints have magnificent Mansions in Heavens, while others live in small Community homes. He was shown why, after serving the Lord his whole life, his house was still small and unfinished. He also witnessed how gruesome Hell was, and why so many Christians wound up there; and what sins we must repent of. Pastor Park's testimony is a wake up call to the Church, it will encourage those who are serving Jesus faithfully, it will strengthen your resolve for Jesus, and will bring the Fear of God to those who are not living Holy.
In 1987, Reverend Park had died from high blood pressure. But by the grace of God, his life was extended for another 20 years. However, for the first four years, he was not able to speak due to his condition. He was about 50 years old when he had come back to life. During his death, the Lord showed him Heaven and Hell.
I want you to know if you are arrogant and prideful, you will bring curses upon yourself. I had a mega church of 5000 members but I was struck down by God due to my arrogance. Now I fear God. (James 4:6)
I used to own property worth about 150 million US dollars. I owned five luxury cars. But after my death experience, I gave it all away. Please remember, salvation cannot be achieved by your possessions but through faith. And now I plead to the deacons, elders, and the other leaders in their churches to serve your pastors with all your heart.
On December 19, 1987, after I had finished my lunch and while I was resting, I began to feel excruciating pain, it was so unbearable that I felt as though I was going to die. Then I lost consciousness. I woke up four months later in a vegetated state, and my doctor told me that I would eventually die. All my body parts were mangled very badly from the paralysis. And my family had never allowed any of the church members to visit due to my horrible appearance. Then I finally died.
When I died, I saw two people enter my room. But these people had entered into my room through the wall. I screamed, “Who, who are you!! My house will crumble down if you do that!!” Then one said, “We are angels descended from Heaven. We are from God’s kingdom.” A brilliant light shinned from the angels.
The angel to my right introduced himself. “I run errands for Jesus in His kingdom. Jesus called me and commanded me to go down to the Earth. He commanded me to take you to Heaven. You are dead. But since your family cries out with so much sadness, He desires to grant you a little more time to live. But for now, He desires to show you Heaven and Hell. He will show you and you will witness to the people of the Earth. May the number of people who end up in Hell be decreased and the number of people going to Heaven increased through your testimony. This will be your mission. God instructed us to tell you not to delay. If you delay, you will not be able to visit Heaven and Hell.”
Then the angel to my left said, “The moment you were born and until the moment you had died, I had been with you.” At that time, I did not understand what the angel had meant. Now I know. He was my guardian angel. So I said, “I cannot go! I will not go! I am a pastor! I cannot meet the Lord in this physical condition. I want to see Him as a healthy person. I would probably be receiving more rebukes than compliments from the Lord. I am prideful and arrogant and now I am cursed and sick. How am I able to enter Heaven? I am so scared. Please go back to Heaven and ask the Lord to heal me. Then come back and take me to Heaven through my dream. Please ask for mercy on my behalf.”
But the angels were not listening to my arguments. They took my clothes off and said that they were too filthy to be wearing in Heaven. They then clothed me in a white gown. (Zech 3:4)
They grabbed my hands and we flew straight up to Heaven. We flew through the clouds and as I looked down, I saw the Earth becoming smaller. They let me go near an endless Golden Street. I saw a brilliant shining light, too bright to look directly at. I said, “Where is the light coming from?” “It is from Heaven” the angel responded.
I thought, “Wow! It is huge!” I saw groups of people in white gowns flying ahead. “Who are they?” I asked.
The angel replied, “They are the ones who had served God faithfully and trusted in Jesus by obeying and following the lead of the Holy Spirit with all their heart. Their bodies are dead on Earth. They are now the souls heading toward Heaven.”
The other angel continued, “There are twelve gates in Heaven. When a saved soul comes to Heaven, they must enter through one of those gates.” We were standing in the south gate but it was closed. As we were waiting, I asked the angel, “Angels, why is this gate not opening?”
The angel replied, “It is because you are not singing the Heavenly worship song.” (Psalms 100:4)
I asked, “Angels, I was very prideful and arrogant and as a result I was cursed with sickness. I am not good at singing Earthly worship songs. How am I able to sing Heavenly worship songs when I had never heard it before?”
The angel replied, “You are correct. But you must still prepare yourself to worship. You are a prideful person but prepare to sing.” The angels began to sing. As they sang, I began to sing with them. It became natural to me, and we entered in.
The scene of Heaven was indescribable. I can’t describe Heaven with my Earthly words. I said, “Lord! Thank you so much! Even though, I was very prideful and arrogant and cursed with a sickness, You have still brought me to Heaven to show me around.”
I then heard the voice of God, “My beloved Pastor Park, Yong Gyu, I welcome you. You have made a long journey here.” His voice was overflowing with love and tenderness.
I replied back crying in tears, “Lord,….” The angels immediately said, “you have been a pastor for 20 years. Do you not know your scriptures? There are no tears in Heaven. Please stop it!” I was not even able to cry. (Rev. 21:4)
The Lord then asked me five questions.
“How much time did you spend reading the Word (bible)?
How much did you give of offerings?
How many times have you evangelized to people?
Did you tithe properly?
How much time did you spend in prayer?”
I could not answer the fifth question. The Lord rebuked me for the fifth question.
“After you had become a mega church pastor, you had become very lazy with prayer. Being busy is no excuse to Me!” I had to repent of it later. “The angels will show you many places in Heaven and of Hell. Look around as much as you desire. You will leave after witnessing many different places in Heaven and Hell.” But the Lord did not allow me to see His appearance.
The angels first took me to three different places in Heaven.
In the first place, I saw little children living together.
The second place was where the adults lived.
The third place was where the souls had barely made it to Heaven. Even though they made it to Heaven, they had made it shamefully.
Many people had asked me how old the little children were. They appeared like kindergartens. They were not the little boys or girls as we would know of gender. Each child had their own angel to accompany them.
In Heaven, most of the souls will have their own individual home. (John 14:2) However, there were some who did not have homes. I will explain this later. Moreover, the children did not have their own individual homes either. I asked, “The children are also souls, why do they not have their own homes?”
The angel replied, “Just as the people on Earth require materials to build their homes, we in Heaven also need materials to build here. When a person serves the church and others faithfully unto the Lord, those deeds will become materials for a person’s home in Heaven.
When the materials are provided, the angels assigned to build a saint’s home will go to work on constructing it. The children who are below the accountability age have not built up any materials to build a home. In other words, they did not have the time or chance to earn their rewards/materials. This is why they do not have homes.”
I continued with my questions, “What shall I do on Earth to provide more materials for my home?”
The angels replied, “There are seven things one must do to build up their materials to build their home.
The first is their accumulation of worship and praise to God.
The second is their time spent reading the bible.
Third, their time spent praying.
Fourth, their time spent evangelizing to people.
Fifth, one’s offering to the Lord.
Sixth, their obedient tithes to God.
Lastly, their time spent serving the church in any way.”
These are the deeds or works of obedience in which one accumulates materials for their Heavenly home. If one is lacking in these areas, they will have no materials to build their home.”
There were numerous people in Heaven without homes. Many who did not have homes were actually pastors, deacons, deaconesses, elders, etc. I asked out of curiosity, “Where do the children live then?”
The angels replied, “They live here.” As I looked around, they were gathered throughout the garden of flowers. The garden of flowers was so beautiful and the fragrance was out of this world. The scene was beyond what I could describe with my words.
The second place was for faithful adults. There is a difference between salvation and rewards. This place had so many homes. The homes were built with beautiful gems and rare stones. Some of the homes were as high as the highest skyscrapers on Earth. Those people who had faithfully served the Lord while living on Earth had their homes built with beautiful gems and rare stones. In this particular place, all the people looked around the age of 20 to 30 years old. There were no men or women in regards to gender. There are no sick, old, or lame people.
I once knew an elder named, Oh, Im Myung. He had died at the age of 65 years old. He was a very short man, as tall as 2nd graders in elementary school. He had suffered from a rare disease called rickets. However, when it came to the bible, he was a PHD. He had written many commentaries. I met him in Heaven, and there he was tall and handsome. He was no longer sick but healthy. Heaven is a very wonderful place!! I am so full of expectations! Please believe what I am saying beloved people!
The third place was for those who were shamefully saved. (1 Cor. 3:15) This particular village was enormous in size, several times bigger than the second place, where the homes were made of gems and rare stones. I arrived at this place at great speed, riding a golden chariot. It was very far from the other beautiful places I saw in Heaven.
I asked the angels, “I see great wilderness and fields. Why do I not see homes?” The angel replied, “What you are seeing are homes.”
I saw huge wide flat houses, which reminded me of a large chicken coop or some type of warehouse. These homes were not glorious, but shabby. This village and homes were for the souls who were shamefully saved. There were numerous large sized shabby looking homes. This village is several times bigger than the place where rewarded souls reside.
The angel said, “Do you see the two large homes, one to your right and one to your left? I answered, “Yes, I do see them.”
The angel said that he wanted to show me those two houses specifically. He said, “The right home is for those who were pastors on the Earth. The left home is for those who were elders on the Earth.” As we arrived to the front of the two homes, I noticed they were humongous. My jaw dropped. When we opened the door and entered, my first impression was, ‘chicken coop.’ Instead of thousands of chickens living in their coop, I saw souls. The angels advised me to observe very carefully because I would recognize some famous pastors from history. It was true. I recognized many pastors from history. I specifically picked out one pastor and asked the angel, “I know that Korean pastor! I know how famous he was and the work he had done for the Lord. Why is he here? I do not understand.”
The angels answered, “He never provided any building materials for his home. This is why he is living in a community home.”
I asked out of curiosity, “How did this happen? Why did he not have any materials?” The angel answered, “While he was a pastor performing the functions as a pastor, he had loved to be complimented by the people. He had loved to be honored. He had loved to be served. There was no sacrifice and servitude on his part.” This particular pastor was greatly honored in Korea and is an icon within the Korean Christian history. But he had no reward!!
You Pastors out there, please listen! You have to lead people to more than just Sunday morning services. You must visit them in their homes. You must take care of the poor, the lame and old. The pastors who have served without sacrificing their lives and loved to be honored have no reward in Heaven. (Matt 23:5-12)
After I had witnessed this scene in Heaven and after I had come back to the Earth, I immediately gave all of my possessions away including my five luxury vehicles. Our life is but a moment. In the bible, the average life is about 70 to 80 years old. But it is only God who knows when a person will die. Anyone can die before the age of 70 or 80 years old. I had decided to give everything away, even my clothes. The people I saw had received salvation in shame. They were pastors, elders, deacons, and lay believers. There were multitudes of elders and deacons in this flat shabby home. But of course, it is much better than Hell. However, why would anyone want to enter Heaven in such a way? I will not end up in that shameful place. Their clothes were even shabby.
What are the requirements for Christians to receive such beautiful homes in Heaven? First, we have to evangelize to as many people as possible. How should we evangelize? The angel told me, “Assume there is an unbeliever who does not know the Lord. The moment you decide to evangelize to that particular person, the building materials for your homes will be provided. As you unceasingly pray for their salvation, more building materials are provided. You must continue to check up on them, visiting them and continue your evangelizing. This will add more materials to your home. If a person says he/she cannot make it to church because they do not have nice clothes, then you must provide them with some. If the person says he/she does not have a bible, you must provide one. If a person says he/she does not have glasses to read, you must provide it for them. You must provide whatever you are able too so this person can be led to the Lord. Those who live in the best homes are those who had evangelized many times.”
The angel then escorted me to the place where the saints lived in nice homes. This is where saints who had evangelized much lived. It felt like downtown Heaven.
In Christian history, there are four people who have the biggest and most beautiful homes. The angel showed me the home of American evangelist D.L. Moody, British Pastor John Wesley, an Italian evangelist, and Korean Evangelist Pastor Choi, Gun Nung. These four people have the largest homes in Heaven. These four had spent their whole lives evangelizing to people even through up to the time of their deaths.
Within the Korean believers, there was a lay believer who had a large home. This lay believer had built many church buildings with his all his possessions. He had given three thousand bags of rice to the poor. He secretly helped thousands of pastors and leaders with their finance. He helped students studying theology or in bible school with their tuitions. He had also taken in a pastor (65 years old) into his home and took good care of him. His own church had kicked him out.
I heard an angel shout, “The materials are coming!” I questioned the angel to my right about the materials and he told me, “These materials are for a deaconess from a small church who is from the country. In fact, she receives materials every day. Even though she is poor, she comes to early morning service each day. She prays for 87 church members daily. When she finishes praying, she cleans up the church.”
I heard another angel shout, “Special delivery! The daughter of the deaconess has given what little money she had to her mother. However, the deaconess did not spend it on herself. She bought five eggs and two pairs of socks for the church pastor. Even though it may appear to be a small offering, she had given all she had for the day. This became special materials for her home in Heaven.”
Second, those who also have a large home are those who have built church buildings or other buildings for Kingdom purpose with their possessions and resources.
In Heaven, I also met an elder named Choi. Among all the Korean elders and deacons who are in Heaven, he had the most beautiful home. His home was much higher than the tallest building in Korea. Choi had built many churches in Korea with his wealth.
I asked the angel, “How about my house? Is it in the process of being built? The angel said, “Yes it is.” I begged to see my house. But they told me it was not allowed. I continued to beg and after some persistent begging, the angels said that the Lord will now allow it.
We entered the chariot and traveled very far to another place. I was full of expectation. I asked, “Where is my house?” The angel replied, “It is over there!” But it looked as though the place was only a foundation, only ready for development. I cried out, “How could you do this to me? How could this be happening? How can my house be in a developing zone? Surviving the Korean War, I sold my only home to build a church. This church eventually grew to five thousand members. I wrote many books inspired by the Holy Spirit. One book became a best seller. With the proceeds from the books, I built Christian schools. The school birthed 240 pastors. During tenure as the dean, I had given out over 400 scholarships to over 400 poor children. I have built homes for the widows to live in. This all cost huge amounts of money. So how could this be? Why is my home in a land development? I am so upset!”
The angel replied sternly, “You do not deserve to live in such a beautiful nice home in Heaven because you have been honored by people countless times. Every time you had built or done something good, you were praised by people. You were even honored by the secular news. Therefore, all your works are in vain.” (Matt 6:1)
I looked at my home in the development zone. It was located in the middle of three other homes. It only had three stories. The house had many small rooms on the first two floors. I asked the angel, “Why do I have such small rooms?” The angel answered, “These rooms are for your sons and daughters.”
“I only have four children,” I replied. The angel responded, “No, they are not for your Earthy children, but for the ones you had evangelized and are saved.”
I loved it! I asked, “Where is my master bedroom?” The angel said that it was on the roof. That bothered me. My room was not even finished. In an angry tone I said, “It is so small! Why is it so difficult to finish?” The angel replied, “You are not even dead. We cannot finish your home or rooms because we do not know if more materials will be provided. Do you understand?”
When we entered my room, I saw two certificates hanging on my wall, so I went to read them. The first certificate described when I was 18 years old living in an orphanage. On Christmas day, I was on my way back to the early morning church service. I had seen an elderly man shivering on the street. I took my jacket off and gave it to him. That deed had given me a reward in Heaven. The second certificate described the same incident but it was for buying some bread with the little money I had for the elderly man. The amount is not the issue. The act must be accompanied by genuine faith. The dollar amount has no significance.
We left the place and headed back out. During the ride, one of the angels asked, “Are you sad? I will tell you how to have a beautiful home built. The Lord said when you go back to the Earth, you must go to tell the people about Heaven and Hell as you have witnessed. Second, the Lord desires you to build a place to gather elderly female pastors and evangelists who do not have places to go or live. If you truly faithfully do these things, you will have a beautiful home.”
Hell
The two angels escorted me to Hell. They said, “Now you will visit Hell.” You have no idea the enormity of Hell. I kept shouting, “It is so big! It is so big!” This is the place where souls who are cursed and receive eternal damnation are placed. It felt like Hell was a thousand times larger than the Earth. Half of Hell was colored red and the other half was pitch dark black. I asked the angels, “Why is this part red?”
The angels replied, “Do you not know? It is burning sulfur. The other half is darkness. When people sin and end up here, they will be tormented from both sides…There are multitudes of churches on the Earth and many of the churches are filled with many people. However, most of them are not true Christians. They are but church attendants. The true churches will firmly believe in Heaven and a Hell. The lives of many Christians are in chaos because they do not firmly believe in Heaven and Hell. When one soul enters Heaven, one thousand cursed souls enter Hell. The rate of Heaven and Hell is 1 to 1000.” (Matt 7:14)
I am a Presbyterian pastor and a well-known speaker. I have graduated from one of the largest theological school in Korea. I never believed those Heaven and Hell stories. But now, I am one who writes such experiences to testify to others. Although you may believe you are a Christian, if you live your life according to the will of demons, you will end up in Hell!
The first place I saw was a place of burning sulfur. You can’t even imagine how hot the fires of Hell are. No one can bear the intense heat.
People in Hell say three statements.
First, it is too hot and they feel like dying. (Luke 16:24)
Second, they are so thirsty and feel like dying.
Third, you will hear many asking for water. (Zech 9:11)
It is eternal! Many people say we are free in Christ and they live their lives as they desire. I asked the angel, “Those who are in here, what have they done?” The angel answered, “The first group is unbelievers.” Those who had not evangelized to their own family must repent!
The angel continued, “The second group is those who believed in Jesus, but did not repent of their sins.” We must repent of our sins and must confess to the Lord. We must not sin. Just giving lip service is not repenting. With a contrite and earnest heart, we must repent!
Christians in Hell
I then saw many pastors, elders, and deacons in Hell. I asked the angel, “I know them. They had served God faithfully while on the Earth. They had died some time ago. We all had thought they were in Heaven with God. But now, I see them all in Hell and they are crying out that it is so hot! Why are they here?” There were so many pastors, elders, deacons and all other lay believers.
The angel answered, “Pastor Park Yong Gyu, a person can appear to be a true follower of Christ on the outside but God knows the heart.
THEY DID NOT KEEP SUNDAYS HOLY. IN FACT, THEY HAD LOVED TO MAKE MONEY ON SUNDAYS. (Jer. 17:27)
Many of the deacons and elders had criticized the sermon of their pastors.
(PS. 105:15) (Num 12:8-9)
THEY DID NOT TITHE PROPERLY. (Malachi 3:9)
THEY DID NOT PRAY.
They had not evangelized to people at all. (Ezekiel 33:6)
Many of these elders and deacons had harassed their pastors and would come against their authority. They had interfered with the pastor’s duty and business. (Num. 16)
On their death beds, they thought they had done a good job so they did not repent of those things. This is why they were thrown in the fires of Hell.”
I then saw a king and a prince who were had first persecuted Christians in Korea. This king and prince beheaded many of the first believers in Korea. They were placed in the center, which was the hottest place of all. I also saw Hitler, Stalin, Mao Zedong, and a famous pastor from North Korea named Pastor Kang, and a famous Japanese hero, and many more.
Then we arrived at an extremely dark place, too dart to see where to step. I shouted, “Angels! Angels! It is so dark! How can I see anything?” The angels patted my shoulder and said, “Just wait a little bit.”
Within a few moments, I was able to see a countless number of naked people. All of them had insects crawling all over their bodies. Not an inch was spared as their whole bodies were completely covered with insects. The naked people attempted to drive the insects away gnashing their teeth. I asked, “What did these people do as they lived on Earth?”
“They are those who have criticized and back stabbed each other. They were not careful of what they had said to one another.” (Matt 5:22)
I saw the demons piercing and stabbing the stomachs of the people with sickles. Their screams were unbearable to me. I asked my escort, “Angels, what did these people do as they had lived on the Earth?
“These people had jobs, houses, and families but they did not give to God. They did not help the poor, their churches, or other Godly purposes. They were very stingy and greedy. Even as they encountered the poor, they ignored them and did not care. They only cared for themselves and their families. They were well clothed, fed, and had a comfortable life. This is why their stomachs are pierced for their bellies were full of greed.” (Proverbs 28:27)
It was a very frightening scene. After witnessing such a scene, when I got back to the Earth, I gave all of my money and possessions to others. Salvation cannot be earned with money or property. It is by faith. Hell is an unbearable and miserable place. It is eternal torment!
I also saw people who had their heads hacked off by a very sharp saw. I asked the angel, “What did these people do to deserve such awful torment?” The angel replied, “Their brains were given by God to think good and beneficial things. But these people had thought of filthy things. They thought of lustful things.” (Matt 5:28)
Next I saw people being stabbed and cut into pieces. The sight was horrible. I asked, “What about these people? What did they do to be tormented in such a way?” The Angel replied, “These were elders and deacons who did not serve their churches. In fact, they did not even want to work or serve! The only things they had loved were to receive and receive from the flock.” (Zech 11:17) (Hosea 6:5)
I saw the elders, deacons, and other lay believers tormented by the demons. The demons made a hole in their tongues and placed wires through the tongues of one another. Then the demons dragged the people with the wire. I asked again, “What did they do on Earth?” The angel answered, “They had committed four different types of sin.
First, they had criticized their pastors. They would speak negative things about their pastors. They were back biting and ridiculing their pastors.”
(James 3:6) (Matt 12:37)
I plead with those who have committed such acts to REPENT, REPENT!!
The angel continued, “Second, they insulted the church with their words. They had harassed other Christians to the point where even the faithful ones were affected and they stopped attending church and even caused some to stop believing. They did all they could to stop faithful Christians from doing God’s work. These wicked ones caused many faithful to stumble. Lastly, there are spouses who drank alcohol and were abusive to their family members.”
I saw demons piercing men and women in their stomachs with a very huge sharp nail. I asked, “What did they do?” The Angel replied, “These are men and women who had lived with one another but were not married. These are guilty of abortions as they also got pregnant. They had never repented.”
I saw another group of people. The demons were slicing their lips as if one thinly slicing meat or vegetables. I asked, “Why are these people tormented in such a way?” The angel said, “These are sons, daughters, son in laws, and daughter in laws who had talked back to their parents. All they had to do was say, ‘I’m sorry’ instead of making things worse. Many of them had used abusive language. They had attacked their parents with harsh language. They were rebellious. This is why their lips are being sliced.”
Brethren, we are all going to die one day, but we don’t know when that will be. Please be prepared. Being prepared is to go to Heaven. When we go is not the issue. Please forgive each other as frequently as necessary if you need too. Repent and repent and do it all day long if you have too.
My beloved brethren, I used to ignore such testimonies. I was a conservative Presbyterian pastor who ignored such things. But now, I must witness and testify to you what I have seen. Please do not hesitate to live a holy life. Please avoid this miserable torment and judgment. Be saved! Do not live for your flesh but submit to the Kingdom of God. Please pray for those who do not know Jesus. Evangelize and bear fruit. Please pray early in the morning and keep Sundays HOLY. Please tithe to the Lord properly. Accumulate your rewards in Heaven and not in this Earth. I pray and bless you in the Almighty Name of JESUS!
By Pastor Park, Yong Gyu
Thursday, 22 November 2012
KUJIINUA KUMECHANGIA KUSHINDWA KWA MAFANIKIO YANGU
KUJIINUA KUMECHANGIA KUSHINDWA KWA MAFANIKIO YANGU
‘Baada ya kubaki sina msaada wowote maishani ndipo nilipokumbuka neon lisemalo kuwa ajiinuaye atashushwa na ajishushaye atapandishwa’ Ni kauli pekee anayoweza kuielezea maishani mwake baada ya kupita huku na kule na kusahau nyuma na kusahau kuangalia mbele, Enock Fanuel ni kijana mwenye umri wa miaka 28 kutoka nchini Kenya . Katika barua yake anasema kuwa sasa amejifunza mengi kutokana na makosa aliyoyafanya ya kujiweka sehemu ya juu asiyositahili kuwepo kabla
Naitwa Enock , nasoma chuo kikuu cha kenyatta mwaka wa tatu, lengo langu la kushare na wewe wakati huu kupitia blog hii ni kukuonesha mambo ambayo niliyafanya ili wewe ambaye hujayafikiria hama ama tayari wewe uliyeanza uache mara moja yasije kukuta kama yaliyonikuta,
Kipindi nipo mwaka wangu wa kwanza wa masomo watu wote walioniona katika compound ya chuo hata pale mitaa nilipopita walinifikilia kuwa ninazaliwa kwenye familia ya kifahari na familia ya kiongozi mkubwa ndani ya nchi ya Kenya. Taswira hiyo ilitokana na style yangu yam aisha nilivyojionesha mbele za watu , kujifanya nafahamu kila kitu , nilikuwa na nguo kidogo lakini jinsi nilivyozitumia kuvaa mtu ambaye hakujua angedhani kuwa nina kabati zima la nguo la kuweza kuwatosheleza wanakijiji wote., Huku nikiwadanganya wengi kuwa nafanya kazi na kampuni moja kubwa , darasani nilihakikisha nakuwa wa kwanza kuamsha mkono na kujibu maswali, Kupenda wasichana ilikuwa ni kama kunywa maji nikiwadanganya mengi huku nikiwapeleka kwenye chumba tunamoishi nikitumia kuwaonesha vitu vya room met wangu kwa kujifanya vya kwangu ‘laptops,sub-woofer na vingine vingi.
Room met wangu ndani ya hostel ndiye alijua ukweli kuhusu maisha yangu kwasababu sikuwa na kitu chochote bali tuviela nilitokuwa nazo za matumizi, Hivyo katika hali ya kuonekana smart kila siku nilitumia siku nyingine kuvaa nguo za room met wangu, vifaa kama catle ya kuchemsha chai alitumia kunisaidia huku nikijifanya vyakwangu, wakati ulikuja ambapo nilibaki sina hela hata ya kununua sabuni, kalamu chakula lotion body na mahitaji mengine, na kabla sijaishiwa nilijionesha kweli kuwa nina hela na wanafunzi wenzangu waliamini wengine wakiomba niwakopeshe, niwatoe chai lakini kwa kwa maneno mengi niliwadanganya.
Kumaliza siku moja bila ya kuoga pamoja na kubadilisha nguo zisizokuwa za kwangu niliiona kamadhambi ya kwanza duniani, Lakini hali ilipoanza kubadilika nilianza kukosa shule , kujihusisha na shughuli za darasani zikaanza kupungua , wasichana niliowadanganya kimapenzi nikaanza kuwaona maadui machoni pangu, Mbaya zaidi ni pale msichana mmoja jirani na tunapoishi aliponiomba catlle ili akachemshe maji kwa kudhani kuwa ilikuwa ya kwangu kutokana nilivyotumia kuwambia, Shetani mbaya alipokuwa akichemsha maji cattle ilipata kuungua ,Binti alivyonipatia taarifa hiyo nilijisikia kupungua kilogram moja mwilini kwasababu nilijua fika kitu sio cha kwangu na huyu binti hawezi kulipa, kuniomba radhi kukawa kwingi wakati huo. SIkuweza kwenda kwa mtu yeyote kwa ajili ya kujikopa kwasababu nilihisi aibu kutokana na jinsi nilivyokuwa hapo awali niliamua kukaa na maumivu yangu. Nilijaribu kumwambia ukweli Yule msichana kuwa cattle haikuwa ya kwangu siku zote lakini sikupata msaada wowote.
Kuchungulia mfukoni mwangu ndo sikuwa na senti hata moja ,ndugu niliamua kuweka rehani vitu vyangu vyote mpaka nilipolipa cattle hiyo.
Natumai umejifunza mengi kutokana na niliyoyafanya maishani mwangu ambayo nimekuja kuyajutia baadae, ombi ni kuwa kama ulikuwa unapanga kujiinua inua inua au una tabia kama iliyokuwa ya kwangu naomba uombe rehema kwa Bwana kwani yeye ni mwaminifu Rom 10;9
Asante
By Enock
Mpendwa msomaji Kama una story yoyote ambayo ungependa kushare na wengine , maisha , ushauri ,testimony, kuomba ushauri, Please tutumie barua yako kupitia Tanzaniaplus@gmail.com
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HUYU NDIYE MWAFRIKA WA KWANZA MASKINI KUSOMA NJE YA NCHI
HUYU NDIYE
MWAFRIKA WA KWANZA MASKINI KUSOMA NJE YA NCHI
Moses
Kaihura alizaliwa miaka 22 iliyopita nchini Tanzania ambaye kwa sasa ni
mwanafunzi katika chuo cha cape town nchini Afrika kusini, Katika historia yake
yam aisha ya sasa anasema kuwa kama angelikuwa ni binadamu mwenye kukata tama a
anaamini asingelifika leo hii yanayomkuta maishani , Kiufupi kama mwanafunzi wa
chuo anayo mahitaji muhimu kwake kama chakula ,pocket money kwa ajili ya
kununua vitu kama sabuni ,lotion, kuingia café na kudownload material n.k,
lakini kwake vyote hivi hakuvijua wala kuvifahamu
Endelea naye………
Jina langu
naitwa Moses Kihura nina soma hapa
katika chuo cha captown Afrika Kusini, ni mtoto wa sita katika familia ya watu
sita ya mzee baba yangu Kaihura, Tangu
nikiwa mdogo familia yetu imekuwa ni ya furaha , amani na upendo kutokana na
mapenzi tuliyoendelea kuyapata kutoka kwa wazazi wetu
Mwaka 2007
wakati nikisoma kidato cha kwanza nchi Tanzania ulikuwa ni mwaka mgumu kwa
familia ambapo tulipomteza baba kipenzi kwa kifo cha ghafla, Lakini kama kijana
niliyekuwa na maono sikukata tamaa niliendelea na masomo ili kutimiza ndoto
yangu ya kimaisha.
Ukweli ni
kwamba kipindi baba yupo hai sikuwaza wala kufikiria kuwa kuna kifo au kuhisi kuwa naweza kuwa
yatima wa mzazi mmoja Lakini namshukuru Mungu ameendelea kumwezesha mama yangu
na hashindwi kamwe.
Mwaka 2010
nikiwa kidato cha nne niliamua kukabidhi maisha yangu kwa Bwana Yesu na
kuokolewa
‘KUOKOKA
JINSI ILIVYOKUWA’
‘ Nilikuwa
katika mwaka wangu wa mwisho wa masomo ndipo niliamua kumtafuta mwalimu wa
masomo ya ziada, kiukweli alikuwa ni mwalimu kati ya walimu wachache waliobaatiwa
na kipaji cha kufundisha,Alihakikisha kabla hajaanza kufundisha anatuombea na
kutufundisha neno la Mungu, siku zilizidi kusonga na Mungu ndipo alianza
kuongea nami kuwa ninapita katika njia ya kuzimu na kunionesha mabaya
yanayonizunguka ndipo niliamua kumpokea kama mwokozi wa maisha yangu.
Mwaka 2010 mwezi wa kumi nilihitimu masomo yangu na matokeo ya mtihani yalionesha kuwa sitaweza
kuendelea na kidato cha tano kwasababu nilikuwa na points 28 tu
Nikiwa mdogo
nilipenda sana kuwa mwanasheria hivyo haikuwa rahisi sana kuona ninadumaza au
mtu yeyote anaharibu ndoto yangu ya kuwa mwanasheria , nilipomwambia juu ya
hili suala alitamani kuniua kwa kuwa yeye alipenda nisomee ualimu’ Teacher’
‘kama utaweza
kujilipia mahitaji yote unaweza kwenda saivi na ninaomba usinihusishe na kitu
chochote’ niliposikia hivyo niliumia moyoni na siku nzima nilifanya kulia
,chakula sikutamani tena. Na nikabaki sina ujanja mwingine basi ndipo
nilipomwendea tena na kumwambia kuwa basi kaka nimebadilisha kozi sasa
nitasomea utalii’tourism management’ hapo alikubali, Siku ilipofika ya kwenda
chuoni nilienda peke yangu nilipofika
ilikuwa kama bahati kwangu kukuta kuwa hata kozi ya uanasheria inatolewa chuoni
hapo, ndipo nilipoongea na mkuu wa shule kwa ajili ya kubadilisha kozi yeye
alinikubalia kwasababu walichataka ni pesa yao baasi , Baada ya hapo tulipangiwa kwenda kwenye
mazoezi ya vitendo’field’ na Mungu kweli akanitumia nikafanya vizuri, Wakati
ulipofika ndipo niliamua kumwambia kakayangu tena sasa nataka kuendelea na
masomo kwa ngazi ya diploma kwasababu tumechaguliwa nchini Afrika kusini
‘Lakini hapa sikumwambia kuwa mimi
ndo nimejipangia kuendelea na masomo bali hapo nyuma nilijifanya kuwa mkuu wa
chuo kwa kumtumia email na sms zenye ujumbe wa kujipongeza kuwa nimeshinda na
nimechaguliwa kwenda Afrika kusini, na nilazima niende nisipoenda sheria
itachukua mkondo wake, kaka yangu aliamini hivyo kuwa kweli anapokea ujumbe
kutoka kwa mkuu wa chuo’
Ndipo
tulipata usafiri wa kwenda South kwa ajili ya kuanza masomo
Mpendwa
unayesoma stori hii kwa sasa nikwambie kuwa nilipofika chuoni mambo hayakuwa
marahisi kama nilivyofikilia hapo awali, Kutokana na kaka alivyo na jukumu
kubwa la kutunza familia yake na kuhakikisha kuwa watoto wake wanakwenda shule
hatukuweza kulipia mahitaji yaliyokuwa yanahitajika chuoni pamoja na hostel kwa
kuhaidi kumalizia baada ya mda mchache
Wiki ya
kwanza ilipita , ya pili mwenzi , moja na nusu, miwili Ulipofika mwezi wa kumi
katikati pesa zote za matumizi kwa ajili ya chakula ,sabuni, mafuta vikawa
vimeniishia, Deni lililokuwa limebaki la Hostelwakaanza kudaii psa yao, Mmaisha
hayakuwa rahisi, nilibadilika na kudhoofika baada ya mda mfupi,
Lakini
namshukuru mungu kwa kunipatia uwezo wa kuongea na kila mtu kwa kujenga urafiki kila sehemu nayokuwa ,
Hivyo wakati huo kutokana na ukaribu niliokuwa na o pamoja na walinzi wa Hostel
baada ya kuona jinsi navyoshinda na njaa wakaamua kuwa wananisaidia mlo mmoja
kwa siku yaani baada ya kuwa natoka chuo. Nilijaribu sana kupiga simu nyumbani
jibu nililokuwa nikipata ni kuwa’ vumilia tukipata hela tutakutumia’ sikuweza
kudhubutu kulaumu kali hiyo kwasababu nilijua fika hali halisi jinsi ilivyo
nyumbani, Narudia kusema kuwa ulikuwa
ni wakati mgumu sana , huku darasani walimu wanatupatia kazi za kufanya kama
course work kwenda kuresearch kwa internet café pamoja na kuprint kazi hiyo
kwangu sikuweza kufanya chochote kutokana na kuwa sikuwa na senti mija mfukoni.
Lakini
katika kuumia kote huko sikuchoka kumwomba Mungu , niliendele kuhudhulia
maombi, ibada nk. Mwezi mmoja ukaisha nikiwa nimeshazoea kula mlo mmoja kwa
siku , kuoga ni nadra kwa kutegeshea aliyemaliza kuoga bafuni kwa lengo la kwenda na kuangalia kama amebakiza vipande
vipande vya sabuni, haikuwa rahisi.
Kasi ya
kuhudhulia darasani ilianza kupungua leo nipo shuleni kesho hamna , course work
za walimu ndo sifanyi kutokana na kukosa hela za kuprint., mawazo mazito kila
wakati hulu marafiki na wanafunzi wenzangu wakiniuliza maswali mengi kuhusu ni
kitu gani kinachoendelea juu ya ngu, lakini jibu nililokuwa naloa ni moja tu ‘
no problem’
Mwezi wa
kumi na moja ukaingia bila uhakika wowote wa kula , nilijaribu kupiga simu tena
na kuwambia halia halisi jinsi inavyozidi kuwa mbaya , nataka kufukuzwa hostel,
nakufa na njaa ndipo walijipigapiga mfukoni wakanitumia kiasi kidogo cha Tsh
150000/ kwa maisha ya afrika kusini ni pesa kidooooogo sana, Lakini nilijua kuwa
wamejaribu kadri ya uwezo wao , nilifahamu hali jinsi ilivyo.
Nilichoamua
ni kununua unga kwa ajili ya kupika ugall kuwa natumia ugali maji mmh..sio
rahisi wenzangu.
Nakumbuka
ilikuwa ni siku ya ijumaa tarehe 15 mwezi wa 11 nilipotoka chuoni na njaa kali
na kukuta kwenye noticeboard ya hostel yaani nje ya geti kuna karatasi ya
majina ya wanafunzi watano na la kwangu likiwemo ikisema kuwa haturuhusiwi tena
kuingia bila kulipa pesa yote ya hostel, nilipojaribu kuingia ndani niliburutwa
nje kama mwizi katikati mwa wananchi wenye asila kali.
Urafiki
wangu na Askari ulibakia katika kunisaidia simu ili kuweza kuwasiliana na
nyumbani lakini kutokana kuwa walipenda na waliheshimu kazi yao wasingeliweza
kuniruhusu kuingia ndani, sikuwa na jamaa ndani ya jiji, Lakini wazo lilokuja
kichwani mwangu liliniambia kuwa leo ni ijumaa kaniasani kuna mkesha nenda
ukaombe, Ndipo nilienda kwa maombi ya usiku mzima , niliendelea kuomba mpaka
kesho yake ambapo ukweli nilisikia sauti ikinambia kuwa usiogope wala kuwaza
tena , nilitafakali sauti hii inatoka wapi lakini moja kwa moja nilielewa kuwa
ni bwana wa Mabwana Yupo pamoja name, Na hapa alichokifanya ni kuendelea
kuwatumia askari kwa kuendelea kunisaidi mahali pa kulala kwa sharti moja kuwa
‘ Hatuwezi kukuacha ulale nje lakini unapaswa kuja mahali hapa saa tatu usiku
na kuondoka mahali hapa saa kumi kamili asubuhi’ kwasababu kwa kukuruhusu
tayari tunahatarisha kazi yetu.
Nikakumbuka
mbeleni kama wiki mbili tuna mtihani wa kumaliza semester, niliangalia juu
nilipogundua kuwa anga linaweza kuwa fupi. Huku askari wakiendelea kunisisitiza
kupiga simu nyumbani na kunitumia hela
na kunielekeza mahali palipo ubalozi wa Tanzania nchi afrika kusini kwa
ajili ya kumumrisha aliyenileta kutuma pesa haraka sana, Lakini ukweli nilijua
kuwa haingeweza kusaidia kutokana na hali niliyoijua nyumbani.
Naumia sana
, najuta sana nawaza sana kwa kufikilia ndoto yangu ,sio njia rahisi kwa mwanadamu yeyote mwenye
mwili kushinda njaa , kuingia ndani saa tatu usiku , kushikavitabu kusoma,
kuamka mapema saa kumikamili, Lakini nazidi kumshukuru Mungu kwani yeye ndiye anayeendelea
kunifanikisha wakati huu, Ni yeye ni yeye ni yeye Na ninaendelea kuamini hapa na sitashindwa
kutimiza ndoto yangu , nitashinda haijarishi napitia katika wakati mgumu , Psalms 30:5
Ushauri
wangu ni mmoja kwamba tuangalie sana kwa kuwa maamuzi sahihi ni yale
yaliyokubaliwa na wazazi wako pamoja na walezi wako. Phil 4.8
Ombi Nikiwa
bado katika wakati mgumu wa maisha wewe kama ndugu uliyeguswa na history yangu naomba ushauri
nifanye nini ili niweze kushinda
Wenu
Moses
Kaihura.
Mpendwa msomaji Kama una story yoyote ambayo ungependa
kushare na wengine , maisha , ushauri ,testimony, kuomba ushauri, Please
tutumie barua yako kupitia Tanzaniaplus@gmail.com
Au kusoma barua ambazo zinatufikia kila siku tafadhali
bonyeza hapa
Ungana na zaidi ya wasomaji 5000 duniani kote kwa kutembelea
website yako
Dear reader if you any story about your life, councel,
testimony, advises or any other story, please send your email now on tanzaniaplus@gmail.com
You can also read some emails that we have received by
clicking hire www.tanzaniaplus.blogspot.com
Join with more than 5000 people who visit your favorite
website
Try Relay: the free SMS and picture text app for iPhone.
Monday, 19 November 2012
I watched as Obote’s soldiers killed dad and raped mummyPublish Date: Nov 19, 2012
I watched as Obote’s soldiers killed dad and raped mummyPublish Date: Nov 19, 2012
Pastor Lubulwa (in front row holding a child) with his biological and adopted children
Twenty-five years later, he says God has turned his traumatic past into an opportunity to encourage others, writes Samuel Lutwama
Pastor Emmanuel Lubulwa, the senior pastor at Meeting Place for Church in Kireka, says he had a difficult time while growing up. It was so difficult that he has even written a book From Grass to Grace about his personal experience.
“I never enjoyed my teenage days after my parents’ death,” he says before quoting Psalms 30:5, which says: “...weeping may last through the night, but joy comes in the morning.”
Lubulwa says his father was brutally murdered and the body left where they could see it, while his mother was gang-raped by soldiers before his eyes until she died.
Born 37 years ago in a small village of Luwero district, Lubulwa describes his childhood in two distinctive phases. He says the first phase was uneventful, but everything changed when he was nine years old.
As the only boy in the family of 12, he was deeply loved by his sisters and they regarded him as heir apparent to their father.
“My father, who was a businessman, provided everything for us. Although he had two wives, we never lacked anything and we all lived harmoniously,” he says.
But that all changed in 1983 during the civil war. Lubulwa says this changed their lives for the worst. His parents sought refuge in the jungles of Luwero for one year and half and after some time, they opted to relocate the family back to their home, which had already been vandalised.
“We had no idea of the tragedy that was awaiting us. Had we known, perhaps, we would have stayed longer in the bush,” Lubulwa says remorsefully.
He adds that the moment government soldiers saw his father, they arrested and jailed him in a military barracks on suspicion that he was spying for the rebels. Four days later, he was brought back to his family handcuffed. As a punishment for his alleged treachery, Lubulwa’s father was shot dead in the presence of his family members.
The soldiers then ordered the family not to remove his body until it decomposed. But before the body could decompose, wild dogs scavenged on the flesh.
On the same day, Lubulwa adds, his mother was forcefully undressed and gang-raped until she died. Her children were forced to watch the sinister episode. This left Lubulwa and his siblings helpless and scarred.
What is more tragic is that the family was still trapped in the jungles of Luwero without anyone to help them. Lubulwa says after his parents’ death, he and his siblings lived solely by the grace of God.
“From 1984 to 1986, we virtually had no food. We became malnourished and our bodies were full of sores, yet there was no medicine to heal our bruised bodies,” he says.
Fortunately, the Red Cross came in at their time of need. Lubulwa was taken together with his siblings to a camp, where they received treatment and rehabilitation.
In 1986, after the war ended, there was a glimmer of hope for Lubulwa and his siblings. He was re-united with his step siblings, who had survived the fangs of the civil war.
Turning point
Lubulwa says after the war, he started going to school. While in P5, he heard about the gospel of Jesus for the first time. At that time, Lubulwa wondered why Jesus could let such tragedies as the one that befell his family, happen. He was adamant about the gospel until one preacher posed a question: “Do you know why you are still living?” And that was it.
“At that time, I realised that there was a reason why I had survived all the nasty experiences. The preacher assured me that God was ready to take me as His son, if only I accepted Him as lord and saviour. God started bandaging and healing my broken past,” Lubulwa says.
More misery
To add insult to injury, Lubulwa’s elder brother lost his job and he could not continue financing his education. Lubulwa relocated to the village, where he took interest in the gospel message of mercy and grace as he read the Bible.
Lubulwa says as he spoke, before he could finish one verse, another scripture tumbled prophetically out of his mouth.
“I immediately decided to make the gospel part of my ministry,” he says. However, Lubulwa adds that the journey was not smooth.
“I was made to sleep in the bathroom for three years by the wife of my pastor. However, through all this, the grace of God was evident in my life,” he adds.
Restored
In 2003, Lubulwa says he fell in love with a beautiful young lady — Grace — who he says has lived to her gracious name.
“God has blessed us with children and we have also adopted others,” he says.
“Above all, I have a ministry that is impacting the lives of others,” Lubulwa adds.
To date, Lubulwa recounts the day he first got onto a plane to go to Burundi on a gospel mission.
“When I was seated in the plane, my mind went back to the painful memories of my childhood. The memories later faded away in the reality of the amazing grace of God,” he says.
Lubulwa adds that he has seen God work miraculously to resolve his bruised past. Although it has not been easy, he has witnessed something beautiful arise from ruins. “Whenever we go through heartache, the grace of God is just around to see us through all the trials and temptation,” he says
My testmonie today, Ushuhuda wangu kwako
MY STORY :: Jeremy Coward
.
My
name is Jeremy. I am a husband to my beautiful wife, a proud father of
two young boys and today, a devoted follower of Jesus Christ. At 37, I
have more joy in my life than I ever imagined possible, having been
freed by Jesus from a life of slavery to sexual sin.My battle and earliest childhood memories started when at the age of 5 or 6, I was exposed to my first pornographic image and ‘shown’ how to masturbate. That experience gave birth to a self-serving attitude that years later would nearly destroy my marriage and my life. With no real moral compass in place at home and experiencing deep feelings of abandonment, as a very young boy I began to ‘act out’ my sexuality with other young boys in the neighborhood and did so for the next 5 or 6 years. I knew I was wrong. I felt gross. I was ashamed of my behavior and inevitably felt tremendous guilt after each homosexual experience.
At 11 years old my parents divorced, I stopped my homosexual behaviors and shifted my attention to any young girl willing to participate. I began regularly using drugs, alcohol and other household substances to numb my pain. From the 7th grade through my college years my slavery to drugs, alcohol and pornography intensified. I found I needed more and more intense stimuli to feel the same level of ‘satisfaction’. When magazines and internet images were no longer enough and as my ‘freedoms’ increased, my attention gravitated to private strippers, gentlemen’s clubs and adult stores. I treated sex like a god by hoping in it to pacify my pain and to find the intimacy and love I was denied as a young boy.
When Jesus saved me at the age of 26, I foolishly thought life would get easier and my slavery to sex would go away. I’d marry, have a few children, serve and honor Jesus Christ in every aspect of my life, and live the rest of my days ‘happier ever after’. Well, I did marry. I did have a couple children. Daily I tried to serve and honor Jesus Christ with my life—but I will tell you the first 9 years of our marriage were some of the toughest of my entire life. Early, serious sin occurred in my marriage and naturally caused my wife to retreat. Sexually, emotionally and spiritually, my wife became unavailable to me. As my wife and I drifted apart, becoming mere roommates, the temptations became overwhelmingly difficult to fight off. Within just a few years I had fallen back into a full life of sexual slavery again. I was incapable of feeling. I was incapable of experiencing a real relationship with a real woman. My life was a lie and nearly everything in it was based on the lie that sex could satisfy my deepest needs.
How could this have happened? How could I have allowed myself to fall so far away from a loving God and literally watch my life fall apart? I was deeply depressed and was dying spiritually every day. Seven years into our marriage, for seconds of ‘pleasure,’ I very literally became the “3:00AM man with my pants around my ankles that Jesus came to save” and solicited the services of a prostitute in Las Vegas. For the next 2 years I lied to my wife, to myself, and to every person I knew. I was disgusted with myself. I no longer wanted to live and had seriously contemplated suicide but by now had 2 young children at home.
Heavily influenced by godly friends who loved me enough to confront me in my sin, in January of 2011, I chose to repent of my sin instead of hiding it. For years I had been ‘sorry’ for the consequences of my sin but only focused on behavior modification and simply ‘trying harder’ to overcome the sin in my life and to make my marriage work. As such, I never genuinely experienced God’s grace and inevitably my efforts failed. It wasn’t until I honestly accepted and acknowledged my sin before God that the Holy Spirit radically transformed the condition of my heart and allowed me to experience true Godly sorrow and understand the depth of pain I’d caused. Ultimately I worked up the courage and fully confessed my sin to my wife, the secrets that had not only plagued our marriage but also that had plagued my entire life. I shared every aspect of my struggle, including the countless ways I had betrayed our marriage and failed to be the loving husband I had vowed to be. I expected the worst, knowing that The Bible permitted Wendy to divorce me for my adultery. Intensifying the pressure, I was considering a career change which involved a move from Denver, where I had spent my entire life, to Nashville.
The move resulted in a ‘forced’ separation since I needed to be in Nashville for work. As such, my wife and I spent the months of January and February apart. During this time I prayed. I continually asked God to reveal the sin in my life and to show me ways I could love my wife well. Most importantly, I learned to appreciate and openly receive the forgiveness and cleansing in Jesus, who had been crucified for my sin. Each day I dug deep into God’s Word and did everything I could to begin rebuilding the life and marriage that I had destroyed. I had accountability in place. I accounted for every dollar spent to my wife and made sure she had full access to all technology in the home as well as providing her with minute-by-minute detail of my location, meeting times and names of those in attendance. While this may seem extreme, these were all necessary measures for me to live with integrity, walk in repentance, and begin the long process of rebuilding trust with Wendy. As the days passed and as my wife began to see true repentance in my life and new commitment to our family, she decided to move to Nashville so we could commence the restoration of our marriage and family.
Today, nearly 1 year and 3 months following the full disclosure, my wonderful wife and I are doing better than we ever have. As you might imagine, we both have significant pain we are working through as a result of our destructive past, but our communication continues to open up and our level of transparency and intimacy is increasing daily. Trust is slowly gained and quickly lost, but my wife has fallen back in love with me and is learning to trust me all over again. This is a process, but it’s one I’m gladly committed to. I am no longer living as an imposter, but walking in the light, knowing Jesus has cleansed me from my sin. No longer am I hiding behind masks, but embracing my identity in Jesus. No longer am I living my life in sinful selfishness, spinning a web of destructive lies. Rather, I’ve surrendered my life to the headship of Jesus Christ, and as a result, experiencing forgiveness, freedom, and a joy that I know firsthand cannot be found in slavery to sin. I have been forgiven and redeemed and I am now filled with a deep passion to fight against the wave of sexual immorality that is sweeping across our country and destroying the lives and marriages of those in its path.
Thank you Jesus for Your grace, Your kindness and Your mercy, and for showing me there is a way to live humbly and honorably before You. Please continue to mold me into a husband, a father and a friend that will glorify You alone. Please use my story and my life as a witness of your redemption and as a sign of hope for any man (or woman) that has lost hope. There is hope and the hope is available to anyone willing to die to themselves and place their life and sincere faith in the trusting care of Jesus.
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